Here I Am
by MadameChocolat
Summary: COMPLETE. Songfic. Heartbroken and alone again. Why does Wufei always have to in pain. I've posted a second chapter. I hope you don't hate it to much. See if Wufei gets that happy ending or not.
1. Chapter 1

1Disclaimer: I don't not own any of the Gundam wing characters.  
Note: this is the product of listening to Kelly Clarkson-Behind these Hazel Eyes, over and over again. You will find that the story has no real connection with the song at all. But the lyrics are in there any way. I guess you can say it does have some things in the story to connect them. It's depends on how you see it.

Thunder rolled and clapped, angry storm clouds gathered, threatening a heavy down pour. That was always the good thing about earth. The weather, always the weather. In the slightest shift it would change, that was something you could never get in the colonies. No, not up in space, it was always the same there. Always so cold and empty.

Seems like just yesterday  
You were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong  
Your arms around me tight  
Everything felt so right  
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong

Wufei tilted his face toward the sky, letting the fat rain drops fall on his face and body, soaking him to the bone. Some where in the distance someone called his name, a high desperate voice. Heavy foot steps pounded by, underneath him. The frantic cries came closer, until they were right underneath him, then they moved away again. Wufei remain still on his high perch, not a sound coming from his trembling lips. All he wanted was to be alone right now. Not to be pitied and coddled by his friend's, and told every thing would be alright. Another clap of thunder roared near by, indicating that the thunder was much closer now. He still didn't move, only looked at the grey cloudy sky, wondering when his life went straight to hell.

no I can't breathe, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hangin' on

It was a little funny how he didn't see it coming. He had hoped so hard that it was real, that he had found the one this time. Alright, there was the fact that he was the man that killed his wife, and was in they both on two different sides of the war. But he over looked that, if just for that one time. He really thought it was love, that it would be ok, this time. Memory's of a large canopied bed covered in silk, and being cradled to a strong chest filled his mind. Thoughts of tender kisses, and loving embraces, just wouldn't leave him alone. Every day it was getting harder and harder to get out of bed.

Here I am  
once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
can't deny it, can't pretend  
just thought you were the one  
broken up, deep inside  
but you wont get to see the tears I cry  
behind these hazel eyes

But who was he trying to kid right. He was Wufei Chang. The ice prince, the loner. Destiny had never meant for him to be with someone. For him to be happy. Just look at him. An ugly scrawny little kid, with too big eyes, and a little rats tail for a hairstyle. Always walking around with a sour look on his face, and snapping at everyone. Why would anybody want to be with him, when they could have a beautiful tall, blonde Adonis. Yes, that exactly right, he had chosen him over Wufei. That was how he found them. Making love on the bed, on the same bed he an Treize had been on that morning. That had been almost 2 weeks ago. It was kind of like a blur since that night. Wufei vaguely remembered, going to there new safe house, Quatre's concerned voice, and Heero trying to make him talk. He had completely blocked them out and went straight to him room, locking the door behind him. Then stripping out of all his cloth's and hoping into the shower, scrubbing himself until his skin was bright red and raw. That night he had tried to get every trace of Treize off his body, his hair, his mouth, everywhere. He'd been trying to get him out of his head since then, he'd poured all there was in him into that man. Had left nothing behind, trusted him with heart, his soul, even went as far as to give him his innocence.

I told you everything  
opened up and let you in  
you made me feel alright  
for once in my life  
now all that's left of me  
is what I pretend to be  
sewed together but so broken up inside

But he wouldn't cry. He would never cry on the outside, not for him, or anyone. Instead he curled up in a ball, in the middle of his cold empty bed. All alone again, like it was meant to be. If he closed his eyes and thought hard enough, he could almost smell him. The soft scent of roses and musk, underlined with something else, that was not Treize. It smelled like Zechs. Every time he would rush to the bathroom, gagging, and dry heaving, like he could almost smell Treize and Zechs together. At some point he thought he was going insane, but brushed it off. He was already crazy as hell, so it didn't matter. Another set of foot steps pounded by, followed by his name being called in a frantic scream. The thunder was right above his head now, rain came down like a waterfall, muffling ever sound. Making it almost impossible to hear over it.

no I can't breathe, no I can't sleep  
I'm barely hangin' on

It was the main reason, Wufei had gotten out of bed. When the lightest of drizzles began to fall from the sky. Standing had been a little hard at first. Muscles had become tense and cramped up from nearly a week of ill-use. Large windows leading to a high balcony had been unceremoniously thrown open. Letting rain soak the curtain and carpet completely. Wufei crawled out the window, his eyes glazed and unseeing. All he wanted to do was feel the rain, he loved the rain. He stood there in a daze, watching lightning split the sky, making it look so beautiful. He decided the balcony wasn't a good place, it didn't let the ran fall on him completely. So he moved, climbing over the edge of ledge, and down the rain pipe. Straight into the forest, in nothing but an over sized tee-shirt. No doubt he would freeze to death, but he didn't feel the cold, only the rain. A giant oak was the perfect tree. Slowly he began to climb it, scrapping the tender flesh on his legs and arms, splinters embedded them selves in his palms. He felt none of this, his mind set completely on reaching the highest branch. One part of the tree bent and curved, forming a kind of pocket, big enough to fit 3 people. It was perfect. The rain had collected and formed a kind of pool in the pocket, so when Wufei sat down, his entire lower half up to his waist was submerged on water. He's been sitting there ever since, his head tilted toward the sky. Letting the rain pound down on him.

Here I am  
once again  
i'm torn into pieces  
can't deny it, can't pretend  
just thought you were the one  
broken up, deep inside  
but you wont get to see the tears I cry  
behind these hazel eyes

Trowa ran back into the house, looking from left to right frantically. Heero rushed passed him up the stairs, to recheck all the rooms, for the 5th time. There was no point in doing so, but he did anyway. With all his person, he prayed that they had simply missed him. That he was in one of the rooms the entire time. All of them had feared this moment, since Wufei had come home that night. They had made a routine of checking up on him every hour. In hopes of avoiding something like this. Duo's desperate shriek could barley be heard over the rain, as he rain into the forest, weaving in and out if tree's in blind panic. Quatre circled the house, his eyes red rimmed, the tears on his face mixing with the rain water, that soaked him to the bone. He was just about to turn and look behind the house. When a screamed ripped through the air. Temporarily over powering the sound of pounding rain. All four boys ran toward it, as fast as they could.

swallow me then spit me out  
for hating you I blame myself  
seeing you, it kills me now  
though I don't cry on the outside anymore  
anymore

His slim body arced upward, head thrown backward, mouth wide open, screaming for all it was worth. It seemed to come from the deepest part of his soul, like a wild animal, clawing it's way up his throat, past his lips, right into the world. Sounding so pain filled, desperate, and raw. Wufei screamed until he couldn't scream anymore. Slowly he let his head fall forward against his chest, his petite body shook uncontrollably. Cold finally made it's presents known, as it bit into his flesh like a thousand knives. Blue tinted lips quivered as, Wufei swam in and out of conscienceness. The last thing he remembered was falling into a hard solid chest, and strong arms wrapping around him protectively.

Here I am  
once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
can't deny it, can't pretend  
just thought you were the one  
broken up, deep insidebut you wont get to see the tears I cry  
behind these hazel eyes

Machines beeped, in the back round. The clean sterile smell of bleach filled the air, outside the room, the shuffling of feet could be heard. As people rushed by in search of their own loved ones. Wufei lay in an all white hospital room. Almost 4 tubs were connected to his arms, including the heart monitor machine. A tired looking doctor checked Wufei' s chart quickly before leaving the room. Wanting to be as far away from the 4 men in the room as possible. Ever since they had come into the hospital 2 days ago, they had been nothing but a bother. It was understandable for them to be concerned for their little friend. But pointing a gun in a nurses face was a bit much. Back in the room, Duo sat by the bed holding one of Wufei's limp hands in his own. Whispering meaningless but comforting words in Wufei's ear. Trowa did the same on his right, as he murmured soft french endearments into Wufei's small shell like ear. The other 2 stayed by the foot of the bed. Heero's head was laying on Wufei's cloth covered belly, while Quatre rubbed soothing circles on his back. Trowa had been the one to get to Wufei first. He had climbed the tree, and caught Wufei right before he fell. Wufei hadn't woken up since they dragged him out the rain. From staying in the rain so long, he had gotten Hypothermia. They had warmed him up quickly so it wasn't to severe, but he still managed to catch a cold. The doctors said there was nothing wrong with him, besides a little malnourishment. That the only reason he was still asleep was because his mind was telling him to rest. So they needed to be patient and wait for him to wake up on his own. And they would wait. For as long as it took.

Here I am  
once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
can't deny it, can't pretend  
just thought you were the one  
broken up, deep inside  
but you wont get to see the tears I cry  
behind these hazel eyes

DestineysMistake: I have no idea were this came from. It has nothing to do with this song. Oh well stone me later. Please read and review.


	2. Chapter 2

1Disclaimer: I do not own anything.#holds up microphone and screams#Do you hear me I own nothing. #sobs#

Note: here's chapter 2. I hope you like it. Please read and review.

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He stared at the open window by his bed. It was nearly a week since he'd been out if the hospital. The doctor looked as if christmas had come early when she escorted him and the guys out. And the guys have never been gentler with him. As if he would shatter into a billion pieces if you looked at him to hard. Now he knew they were doing it because they love him but this is to much. Wufei couldn't even use the bathroom with out someone fusing and making a big deal. He didn't want to be coddled in any way. But they don't seem to realize that because, they were always fusing over him. Quatre would cluck and fuss over his pillows and blankets. Bring him tea every hour, or so when his old tea got cold. Making sure Wufei took his medication, and prepared huge meals for him to eat. The doctor had said he was a quit a few pounds underweight and that 3 full meals a day would do him a world of good. Trowa and Duo had been at his side constantly. Duo chatting light heartedly about everything and nothing, while Trowa nodded his head and just offered general comfort. Even Heero acted strangely toward him. His eyes would become so soft and warm whenever he looked at Wufei. Making him paralyzed under his intense gaze. But the question still remained. How did Wufei feel?

In all truth he felt like shit. No lie. He just couldn't get over the feeling of overwhelming loneliness and betrayal. How long had it been going on? Had it all been lies? Did he even really matter to him? The questions went on and on, until they became jumbled up and incoherent in his brain. Like before Wufei's mind overflowed with memories of nights together. Of them laying in a huge silk draped bed, Treize's arms wrapped around him so lovingly, as he whispered soft endearing things to him. Made him feel like he was someone. Like as long as he was with him, he would be alright. Was that all a lie? Was it all a game to him? Because it sure as hell wasn't a game for Wufei. When he saw them together... It was like the walls were closing in on him. Like all the air was sucked out of his body. To see them wrapped in each other like that. Bile rose in the back of his throat again but he fought it off. He still didn't cry. No, not him. He just couldn't find it in his being to shed tears for him. It just wasn't in his programing.

Quatre called him. It was time for dinner. He didn't move, just kept looking out the window. He guessed he should be thanking Treize. He taught him a valuable lesson. He had aimed to high again. He had gotten to comfortable. To attached. I mean who would actually consider him mate material. Not him. No, not him. Zechs was though. A tall blonde prince, with flowing grace and elegance. Breed to perfection. Just like Treize. Then there was Wufei. A short bony little boy, with too wide eyes. Willing to trust the first person that says I love you. Yes, a valuable lesson indeed. Never again. He was alone again. It was better that way. Now he didn't have to get hurt so much.

Quatre called again. His voice a little higher then before. Wufei remained still, his eyes squeezed shut. The first signs of rain began to gather outside. He smiled. Rain was always good. Quatre gave up on calling Wufei. If he didn't want to come down he wouldn't make him. He'd come down when he wanted to. Heero looked up the stairs toward the open door of Wufei's room. Then at the window by the kitchen. It was raining again.

He snuggled deeper into his cocoon of blankets. The sound of heavy rain drop pounding against his window pane soothing him. His mind raised in every direction. Wondering were that little boy who loved books went. The one who was so happy and innocent. So ignorant. Well know he knew the saying was true. 'Ignorance is bliss.'

Duo padded down the hallway. His mission was over, and he was home now. They had managed to get home just before the rain started. It was dumb luck they had. It was freezing out there. The mission had been to blow up an OZ base. This time it had been done a little more aggressive then usual. The thought of doing something that damaged Khusandra was real tempting. And they hoped they did a lot of damage.

He stepped out the shower wrapping a towel around his waist. His mind wondered off to Wufei as he got dressed. It had been a few days since he had seen him. He hoped he was ok. So he checked on him.

The top of his head popped up from his cocoon of blankets. Curved cat like eyes and tousled black hair was the only thing that could be seen. His eyes glittered, as he watched the rain fall. He wasn't willing have a repeat of last time. So he kept the window closed. He had scared the others enough. No, he would just watch it fall this time.

Duo eased into the into the room. He knew Wufei knew he was there. Even of he didn't so much as twitch in recognition. He was thinking again. Letting his mind run over all his faults. Telling himself that he was meant to be alone. Breaking him self down. Duo sat next to him, lifting his hand and pulling down the blanket that covered Wufei. It was like opening a package. The blankets peeled away layer by layer. Until it revealed the contents with in.

Raven black locks fell down to his shoulder in soft waves. Left unbound for fear of a headache. He wore a thin over sized cotton shirt that hung off one creamy smooth shoulder. Tempting one to kiss the space were the shoulder and neck meet. Stunning onyx colored eyes were partially covered by silky hair. Leaning forward Duo did something he should have done a long time ago.

He pressed his lips against the soft smooth skin of Wufei's forehead. He let his lips brush down. Past fluttering eyelids, over the bridge of one small nose, and down a smooth cheek. Until his lips landed on those pillowy soft, pouty little lips. He molded his lips against Wufei's slowly, enjoying the feel of those smaller ones beneath his own. His tongue traced over his bottom lip, then sucked that lip into his mouth, sucking on it gently. He did the same to the top one. Wufei moaned softly, opening his mouth and kissing back. Tilting his head slightly, as Duo's larger tongue wrapped around his on, and sucked on it gently. Duo's tongue probed Wufei's mouth. Looking for every nook and crannie. Wanting to taste all that was Wufei. Small hands wrapped around his neck pulling him closer, as his own larger ones found Wufei's small waist. Duo pulled him closer, using one hand to palm the back of Wufei's head, and the other to run down the length of his spin. Making tiny shivers run down Wufei's back and across his shoulders. He moaned again, as that same hand found his thigh, and kneaded the soft flesh tenderly. The need for air became to strong. Warm air puffed against Wufei's cheeks as Duo pulled away. He showered little butterfly kisses on his bottom lip, chin cheeks. Before moving lower. To Wufei's smooth column of neck to the hollow of his throat. Across his collar bone and finally, he kissed that tempting curve of exposed shoulder. Loving how warm and pliable Wufei felt against him. The hand not palming the back of Wufei's head slipped down on hairless thigh, behind the knee. Pulling it up until it pressed against his hip. His fingertips barley grazed flesh, as he ran his hand up Wufei's inner thigh, toward the hot sex between his legs. Wufei shuttered and arched his lower back, hoping Duo would hurry up. Duo froze, and pulled back.

Confusion and hurt flashed in Wufei's eyes as he looked at Duo. Silently asking him if it was all just a joke. Duo leaned forward and kissed him again. A soft a chaste one this time. Before grabbing the fallen covers and wrapping them in their warmth. He pulled Wufei to his chest, tucking his head under his chin. Large strong hands rubbed small circles in Wufei's back lolling him to sleep. And for the first time in weeks he fell asleep with no problems.

Duo sighed. He knew that sex was the last thing Wufei needed right now. It would have meant nothing if he had continued. He wanted to make love to Wufei. To show him the right way to be loved. To be treated like the angel he was. A fiery, passionate angel, who glowed with a unique sensuality. Treize was a complete idiot to let such a wonderful thing slip past him. Someone like Wufei only came by every once in a blue moon. A person who loves from the very center of their being, and stands by you when you need him. A person who fought for you when you couldn't. Yes, defiantly an idiot. Zechs got nothing on Wufei.

The rain pounded on the window pane, as the worst of the storm blew by. It made a kind of odd lullaby in the background. Soothing Duo to sleep. On his chest lay a black haired angel. His chest rising and falling slightly with every even deep breath. Duo planted one more kiss on pillowy soft lips, before joining his beloved in a peaceful slumber.

Heero stood by the still partially opened door, leading to Wufei's room. Trowa and Quatre stood next to him. Silent tears streamed down Quatre's face as he watched them sleep. I prayed to Allah that Duo knew what he was doing. And that he meant it. He allowed himself a small smile, before retreating to the kitchen. Trowa did the same. Giving the couple one last lingering look. Heero was left in the door way. His colblat colored eyes never leaving the sleeping pair.

Stealthily he slipped into the room. Leaning over the bed he brushed a few strands of silky black hair from Wufei's angelic face. Lowering his face he gently pressed his lips against Wufei's temple. He stayed there for a few moments before backing off. He gave Wufei one last loving look and left the room. Wufei cracked open one eye and stared a the retreating figure. A small smile stretching his lips.

Maybe Wufei didn't have to be alone anymore. Maybe he didn't have to hurt anymore. Only time would tell. But if this did work out he deserved it. Heero only prayed that it was right this time. Because the sight of his little brother in so much pain tore at his chest. And if Duo did hurt his little boy. Well...there will be hell to pay. In the room Wufei snuggled a little closer to his new love. His new found hope.

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DestineysMistake: well here you go. A little lovin' for Duo and Wufei. One of my favorite pairings. I hope I didn't completely ruin this story by adding this chapter, but what the hey. Please read and review guys. I love big brother love. Mainly becuase I got like 5 of um. and Trowa just loves Wufei in a platonic way. 


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